Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Could Be Payday. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. Im not single. I love you. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." How Am I Still Alive. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. "I'm alright, mate". Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Follow for more funny content!! 13. Privacy Policy. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Sorry, life. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Holy s**t, you can see me?! I'm happy! Could be payday. 18. 4. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Everything is always better on payday right!? *wink*. Were already married, remember?! It's best part of the whole movie. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Not sure why you're asking me my age. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Unlikely, but worth a shot. Not everybody may appreciate them. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Your hair looks great! I died last week, since then. More like give me a sign that. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Could be better, though. Your secrets are always safe with me. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. At least my hair looks amazing. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. I was doing great, before you came. Could Be Better. Youre free to go. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". 10. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Are you Jamaican? If I had a tail, I would wag it! Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. 7. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. 2. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Youre a ground-hugger. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. 73. As for me, I cant even afford honey! After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. . 11. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Because Im awkward and ugly. 4. I'm alive! If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! I always yawn when Im interested. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.". Living the dream! Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? 14. Living an amazing dream. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Reply. Ive had worse. "Any day above ground is a good day. 75. 63. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. How much do you charge to deliver an STD? How do you want me to be? 58. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. My only talent is not being in a relationship. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Are you serious? Learn more about us here. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. 56. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Me being single is just a conspiracy! My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. 53. I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . I never even listen when you tell me them. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. Hello, how are you? "Still alive" is polite. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! Thats because Im still waiting for you. 100. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 31. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Take Your Time. Does the new one work any better? 15. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 71. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. 95. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Best "How Are You?" Answers. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Reply. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). 54. I hope you are at your best too. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. 55. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Its going great, really! Then they throw dirt in your face. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Click here for additional information. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Its too small to be out there all alone. 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. 19. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. I will leave that up to your imagination. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Still with us. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Whats with all these questions? Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. My grandfather had a ton of these. 29. 6. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. The music billboard charts got it wrong! Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? What a miracle. Share the best GIFs now >>> Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Chuck Bass? It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! You don't need to say it. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. 67. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. 38. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. 35. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. 9. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Ah, sarcasm. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! 7. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. 1. 51. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Thats why Im single. I always root for the little guy. 15. Could have been worse, right. I cant even afford to feed myself! That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. 59. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. 18. 5. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. 88. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". I like being single. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Going strong. 69. Im jealous of people who dont know you. Totally fine! It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Canva. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. I dont know. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. All rights reserved. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. 86. Nowadays, potential mates need money. 41. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! He's jokingly texting if you're ok. a fate worse than death." 32. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. Spiritually? Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Youll go far someday. Don Draper? Mentally? If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. 60. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. 2. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. In My Phone or On My Phone Which is Correct? Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. The hottest single of the year is me. 17. | Are you surviving? [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. 70. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! I am not sure what you mean. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Keep calm and be awesome. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. 26. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. 48. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? 77. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. I'm alive, whoa! If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. Im always there when I need me. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. I learned my lesson. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Stop joking! I just woke up like that one day. Funny as phuck. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Hanging on. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Don't Push It Too Far. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. 5. Well, are you? Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? You should really come with a warning label. Impressive! With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Cookie Notice However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Then you die. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. 5. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) The best I can be. That's impossible. still alive 810 GIFs. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." The government? Your email address will not be published. This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. but it's just so blunt and funny. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! Have you met food? Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. 16. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? 3. Are you going to marry me? Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 2. 9. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. How impressive! But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. 22. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. 98. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. Why do you ask? Nice outfit. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now.